Things have been rough since you've been at school for a whole lot of reasons. You're not a romantic-- you'd never though about us long term and when you first did it scared you. There are many things to be afraid of but you and I are both confident that we will keep making each other happy through every bout of anger and jealousy and sickness and death and hunger and thirst and it's gotten us this far already. I am so in love with you and we have been through things that 90% of best friends will never have to go through. My friends have dropped dead in three's since we met and I think that scares you quite a bit-- but I can't be sure because you would never burden me with those feelings. Sometimes I wish you would let me take some, they are so much easier for me to handle, but somehow you keep them in your pockets at al times like little weights that you think will make you stronger.
All of the odds are absolutely against us but I love you, I love you so much, I love you like crazy. Not a single human should have to swallow the things we've encountered. You're with a girl who's locked away her best qualities for an indefinite period of time because she's on steroids and because they've extended her life.  This is a scary compromise, among many other scary compromises we're trying to make. 

Somehow though-- against all these little battles we are still coming out on top. Today you said your mission statement was to make me fall in love with you again, I told you I was already in love with you and you said "But if I do it again, then we're sure to stay happy!" I feel like I'm going to explode when I'm around you, and it's good, it's so good, but sometimes we're too crazy, I'm too crazy. Sometimes I can't handle what I'm doing to you, it's hard to let someone love a time bomb. This is the bad kind of explosive, how sometimes I imagine you hugging me and I explode and I'm gone and my time was up and you're left alone. I carry a lot of guilt for that, but the point is, even with the negative, I am still falling deeper in love with you all the time. And I'm constantly thinking of how there is no possible way to love someone more! But you can! I can prove it to you a week from now when your dimples make me .10 times happier than they do now, I will prove it to you when a month from now your hugs make things feel even warmer than they do now.

We took these photos the other day and I want to remember forever that this was a time where we argued often, but never yelled. This is a time where we can be so frustrated at the circumstances and the  situations we've ended up in, but we still manage to love each other even as we're scared and angry and hurt. You have never let me walk away from you, and we are always patient with each other. 

I love you